- resilience to a new proposed working style (fear of change)
- concerns over immigration (fear of difference)
- reluctance to sit at the back of the bus with the 'yoof (fear for personal safety/fear of crime, fuelled by popular media and Crimewatch)
- verbal abuse suffered at the hands of ignorant persons regarding your funky fashion sense (fear of difference)
Fear is a potent political tool, and has been used as such for centuries to ensure people remain repressed and ignorant of their reality. It works a treat, as any regular Daily Mail reader can vouch for in their 'distaste' for women, gays, Marilyn Manson, foreigners, the Euro, gypsies/travellers, video games, one-parent families, anything 'urban', drug-users - be it recreational or more of a full-time occupation - emo, Muslims... the list goes on and on. Scary.
Fear of "otherness", more specifically, is a concept that is rife within our increasingly globalised, homogenised world. It has been written about extensively and can be used to refer to virtually every "ism" out there. A recent exchange with a work colleague, however, made me start to think about fear and indoctrination in relation to women and, more specifically, how we internalise messages about our roles in the world and 'correct' behaviour.
My friend, who shall remain nameless, refuses to use the toilet at work. If she needs to 'pass water', she will make a long and fruitless journey to use the toilets of an entirely unrelated department downstairs. Passing of solids is absolute no-no during office hours. Further probing (ahem) revealed that, amongst other things, she feared the small-talk often shared in the close and personal space of the women's lavatories. Her primary fear, however, is that someone should overhear her most natural and normal of bodily functions in action.
I don't know how to express this more succintly, but: WHAT THE FUCK?! Please note that it's not my dear pal's feelings on this that upsets me most (although they're far from ideal): it's the fact that she feels like this in the first place and that these feelings have to have been LEARNED somewhere. I disregard the suggestion that such feelings are innate because virtually all the men I've known in my life simply don't have the same hang-ups regarding their waste disposal or bodily functions. Boys turn into men who continue to enjoy the same sense of pride and delight in 'letting one rip', or regaling friends with how last night's curry is 'repeating' on them... sounds familiar? Try applying this kind of behaviour to females. How many women do you know who would feel comfortable breaking wind in front of men, in the same way that men do? I know women who almost make themselves ill in their reluctance to use the toilet for anything other than a piss when in the company of men. Conversations with other female friends revealed similar attitudes. I USED TO BE LIKE THIS. But, why?
What shocks me is that so many of these women are educated and informed. They believe in equal pay and sure as hell aren't gonna be left holding the baby. So, why is it that they revert to hand-wringing, giggly, submissive little girls when the issue of bodily functions and behaviour comes up? Is is because women are supposed to act like "ladies", and that farting and shitting and spewing and indigestion and all this other shit isn't what "nice ladies" do? Am I'm being too simplistic?
I'm fast losing the impetus to continue writing... I want to read my book! But this issue, along with countless related issues, fascinates and infuriates me. Less than ten years ago, I would have considered the act of "breaking wind" in front of a potential male suitor social death. In the extreme - I kid you not. Now, although I don't make a habit of wandering over to people and discussing my recent toilet activity, I don't feel as fucking precious about it all as I once did. If people don't like it, PULL 'EM UP. Challenge them. Ask them why they think it's alright for men to behave like this, but not women. Ask yourself. Where did you learn that this was wrong? Do you really think that natural bodily functions, which serve as indicators as to internal health and happiness, are REALLY disgusting? If so, WHY?
TAKE EVERYTHING YOU ACCEPT AS NORMAL/CORRECT/PROPER AND DISSECT/ANALYSE/QUERY... YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELVES!!
